A Bitter Sweet End

So much has happened. I really don't even know where to begin. You may or may not remember that I wanted to have another child. I was scared to go through the process of IVF again. Not that IVF itself is physically painful. It is the emotional roller coaster of fertility treatments in general which was causing me to have fear. The ups and downs of maybe being pregnant. Then getting the phone call from the doctor that you are not pregnant. Having to go through another cycle of shots and medicine that makes you more hormonal than normal. You get my drift.

Well, I took the leap of faith and went back to my fertility doctor. Only to find out that I had endometrial cancer which of course, was not diagnosed right away. So my journey has been bitter sweet. I am cured of cancer. As of now my chance of re occurrence is very low.

I had to have a partial hysterectomy and say goodbye to my dream of having another child. At least a child that I can carry.

Honestly, I have missed blogging and connecting with so many of you. I am just coming back to life. I was and continue to be depressed. I have been putting one foot in front of the other and just trying to get though the day on any given day. I really have been faking it until I make it. This diagnosis, surgery and emotional aftermath have been one of the most devastatingly painful experiences in my life. I could not even begin to express the heartache I have experienced. My life has changed.

I will share more. I hope someone can hear my story and know that they are not alone. This year has to be better than 2011 was for me. I can not take much more of my heart being shattered. To all of you, I wish a beautiful, healthy and happy New Year.