No More Mr. Nice Guy...Why?

Tired of always being Miss/Mrs. Nice Guy? Sometimes don't you just feel like telling someone the way it really is? Or don't you just wish you could annoy the crap out of the person who wasted so much of your precious time for NOTHING? Well I happen to stumble upon some great ideas that I have not personally tried but would LOVE to as I thought they were very funny. Even just being able to think about them the next time someone upsets me....will make a bad situation much better. Hope this brings a smile and chuckle or two for you!!

Some Ideas To Annoy People and Have Fun:

In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."



Hmm...maybe that is not the best mix???

Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

Name your dog "Dog."

Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

Staple papers in the middle of the page.

Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

Set alarms for random times.

Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

Wear your pants backwards.

Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

TYPE ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

Pay for your dinner with pennies.

Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

Ask people what gender they are.

Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

Sing along at the opera.

Mow your lawn with scissors.

Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

Make appointments for the 31st of September.

Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

ideas are from lifesajoke.com